A Socially Inept Man Is Granted 7 Wishes By Satan In Exchange For His Soul

 Bedazzled, starts with Elliot Richards, a geeky and overeager man working a dead-end job in a San Francisco call center. He has no friends and his co-workers who manipulate him know he will do anything for acceptance.

He tries to make small talk with his colleagues around the office, but everyone tries to avoid talking to him, as they find him to be too much of a geek. He goes to a bar that evening and spots his colleagues which try to avoid him by any means possible. He sits at their table, oblivious to their opinion of him. Another colleague of his which Elliot has a crush on, Alison Gardner, comes into the bar, but Elliot lacks the courage to ask her out. His colleagues encourage him to go and talk with her. Elliot goes and attempts to make small talk, but fails miserably after Alison never noticed him in the 4 years they worked together in the company and ditches him at the bar. Elliot says that he would give anything for Alison to be with him. A pool ball suddenly rolls over to his feet and he goes to return it to Satan, who has taken the form of a beautiful woman.

After making out on a table in front of two strangers, Satan offers to give Elliot seven wishes in return for his soul. As a test of her powers, she tells Elliot he can wish for anything he wants. He wishes for a Big Mac and Coke. Satan snaps her fingers and a bus arrives and takes them to Mcdonald's where Satan places the order. Elliot has to pay for it, because, "There ain't no such thing as a free lunch."

Elliot feels disappointed because he could've done that himself, so Satan takes Elliot to her nightclub in Oakland, where she gives Elliot a contract to sign which will give him 7 more wishes. Elliot is not convinced, however, as Satan demands his soul after the wishes are exhausted. She convinces him by showing him a video of Alison and himself, as a future that he could have. He relents and signs the contract. Satan then gives him a pager which he can dial 666 on, in case a wish doesn't go the way he wanted.

Elliot wishes to be very rich and very powerful, with Alison as his wife. Satan snaps her fingers and Elliot wakes up in a mansion, as a Colombian drug lord and next to Alison. However, he soon finds out that Alison despises him and cheats on him with her English tutor. After getting betrayed by his own men, Elliot tries to escape by holding onto a helicopter while getting shot at and trying to dial the 666 on the page, but accidentally drops it and jumps after it. He dials it at the last second and falls in front of Satan who is now a parking officer. Satan points out that he never wished for Alison to love him and that being rich and powerful rarely works out for people. She then takes him to Alison's bedroom who is currently taking a shower. Satan: Go on, go ahead. Take a peep. Elliot: No!Satan: Oh, come on. We both know you want to. Elliot: You must think I'm really perverted, don't you?

Elliot: That's what you think.Elliot: You think I am some sad, desperate, twisted, pathetic loser.Satan: Yes.Elliot: Well, in that case, maybe I'll take a quick look. While Elliot peeps, Satan reads Alison's journal, just as Alison comes into the room, but she can't see or touch them since they are in another plane of existence. Satan reads to Elliot that Alison hopes to find a sensitive man who is in touch with his emotions. This gives Elliot an idea for his next wish-- He wishes to be the most sensitive and emotional man in the world and also wishes for Alison to love him. Satan makes him so sensitive he spends much of his time crying over how beautiful the world is, and constantly asks Alison whether he has hurt her. Alison says she wants to be with a man who is strong, shallow, and only wants to get in her pants, and leaves Elliot for a man who is strong, rude, and completely different from the romantic and emotionally sensitive Elliot.

He dials the number again and gets teleported into a pool. Elliot then wishes to be a superstar athlete who would be a woman magnet. Satan makes him a seven-foot-plus tall basketball star, reminiscent of Michael Jordan. Everyone adores him and Alison comes for a one-on-one interview after the match and Eliot invites her back to his place. But here comes the twist, Satan also gave him a small penis and an equally low IQ, which causes Alison to instantly lose interest in him. He dials the number again and this time ends up in a hospital where the Devil is giving sick patients Tic Tacs and M&Ms instead of real medicine. He then wishes to be intelligent, witty, and well-endowed. Satan grants this by making him a famous writer whom Alison falls in love with. Everything is going great for Elliot, in fact too great.

When they arrive at Elliot's home to make love it is revealed that Elliot is actually gay and living with a male partner. He goes back to Satan, who is currently teaching a class, and tells her students that no homework is required and that they are free to play video games and watch television instead. As the class happily leaves, Elliot remains sitting sullenly at one of the desks. Lastly, Elliot wishes to be President of the United States to try and improve the world. Satan makes him Abraham Lincoln at Ford's Theatre on the night of his assassination. He manages to dial the pager just before getting shot. He is back at the call center and goes to his cubicle to start working when Satan pops up on his monitor screen. Elliot doesn't trust Satan anymore but knows he has two more wishes until Satan points out that he has only one wish left, since the Big Mac and Coke counted as one, even though she stated it was a test wish. Elliot loses his patience and storms out of his office. Elliot visits a church looking for God's help, where he briefly confesses to a priest who seems sympathetic.

However, after being asked whether he thinks asking Satan for a Big Mac and Coke counts as a wish, the priest has Elliot arrested. The sergeant books him, and Satan, dressed as a police officer, throws him in a cell, telling him that she does like him and that it would not hurt to have her as a friend since they are going to spend eternity together. Elliot's cellmate, tells him that he cannot possibly sell his soul as it belongs to God, and although Satan may try to confuse him, in the end, he will realize who he truly is, and what his purpose is. Elliot questions the man as to his identity, but the response is simply "A really good friend".Elliot visits the nightclub again and asks Satan to cancel their contract. When Satan refuses, Elliot states he will not use his final wish. Satan then teleports them to Hell, where she transforms first into a black-horned monster, then into a giant. When Satan pushes him to make a final wish, Elliot relents and wishes that Alison could have a happy life. Satan sighs and Elliot falls into the depths of Hell. Elliot wakes up on a marble staircase, wondering if he is in Heaven. Satan tells him that it is a courthouse and that page 147 of the contract states that a selfless wish voids the contract, so he gets to keep his soul. Elliot admits that despite her manipulation of him he has come to like Satan and regards her as the best friend he ever had, something she does not object to. She replies that Heaven and Hell can be found on Earth; it is up to humans to choose.

She then tells Elliot he can go or he can take on another 7 wishes, but Elliot declines and waves Satan goodbye. Elliot finds Alison and talks to her in a more manly and mature way than before. He asks her out, only to learn that she is already dating somebody. His colleagues make fun of him and imitate his childish and goofy behavior. Elliot is not amused, however, and loses his temper and grabs his co-worker by the shirt, but lets him go and simply says: "Nice talking to you."A threatening look sends his other coworkers scurrying. He continues with his life, but with a better understanding of who he is. Sometime later, he bikes home where he meets his new neighbor, Nicole Delarusso, whose looks and personality resemble Alison's and has dressing styles similar to hers. He offers to help her unpack and they begin a relationship. While the two walks along a boulevard, Satan and Elliot's cellmate, presumed to be God, glance at the new couple while playing chess. Elliot and Nicole embrace each other as the movie draws to a close.